I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
