I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
