I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
