But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
