Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
