There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How does it feel to date your dad?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
