You can't motorboat a personality
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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