I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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