Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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