Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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