Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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