alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How's work?
Spinning.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
