We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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