You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
