i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
