He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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