you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
