I love black thongs
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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