ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
