do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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