dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize