ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Randomize
