I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I believe in your delicious
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
