loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
