FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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