I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
