whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
