I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
