yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
