I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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