no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
