Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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