woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
