I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
