I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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