I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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