we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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