There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
