I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize