I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
