I don't think brook has ever known best
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
