there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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