yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
