Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
