Just cropdusted the office
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
