I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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