It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
