Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
