Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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