I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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