The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
