No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
