please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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