Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
