so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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