the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
