I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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