i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Randomize
