What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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