fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
