so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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