Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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