Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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