She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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