I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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