K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
