You just made me feel so damn special
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
